The Jedward!
by cullen freak8888
Summary: Watch Bella and Emmett as they are left at home alone with a pizza cutter while Edward is hunting! Rated M for everyone. Sorry for any grammar issues...
1. Pizza Cutter and Jedward

**Author's Note: Just wanted y'all to know that I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I do own Jedward. That is all! **

"Bella, I'm going to leave you with Emmett and Jasper while I go hunting." Edward explained to me.

I hate it when Edward goes hunting. I hate it even more when he leaves me with Emmett. Don't get me wrong. Emmett is like the big brother I never had, but sometimes he drives me nuts!

_That's what brothers are for._

Great! Now my subconscious is talking to me. I need to stay away from Emmett. He is going to cause me to go to the loony bin!

Now what was I saying before my subconscious butt in?

_Hey! And you were talking about Emmett driving you nuts. _

You deserved it. That's what you get for ruining people's train of thoughts. Thanks for reminding me though!

Oh great! I have definitely been hanging out with Emmett too much. Last time I stayed with Emmett while Edward went hunting- it turned out to be a mess!

**Flashback**

"_Hey Bella! What do you want to do today?" Emmett asked. Edward went hunting with the other Cullen family members. I sighed. _

"_I don't know." I said honestly. _

"_Why don't we cook some pizza? I'm kinda hungry." Emmett said to me. Uh oh! Hungry? Wait- he went hunting yesterday!_

"_Emmett," I said slowly, "you can't eat pizza. Besides you just went hunting yesterday."_

"_Oh yeah! I forgot I don't eat human food." He said looking disappointed. "Well we can still cook pizza!" He said excitedly. _

_Well there is no stopping Emmett. Might as well do something…_

"_Okay. Sure." I said to him, walking towards the kitchen. I started grabbing the ingredients for pizza. Emmett pulled out a round cookie sheet, a bowl and other kitchen utensils. _

_I started mixing all the ingredients into the bowl. While I was making the dough for the crust, I felt a tomato hit my back. I looked behind me and saw Emmett standing there, trying to look innocent. Hahaha! Like that would work. He is far from innocent. _

_I turned around again and resumed to what I was doing. It only lasted a little bit until I felt another tomato hit me from behind. That's it!_

_I turned around, with dough in hand and threw it at Emmett. It didn't hit him because he was gone when he saw the dough coming at him. Dang it! Oh well- at least I can cook without him there throwing tomatoes at me. _

_I made my dough again and flattened it out. I pour the pizza sauce onto the pizza-shaped dough. While I was pouring the sauce- another tomato was throw. This time, instead of the tomato hitting me, it hit the bowl of pizza sauce and all the pizza sauce was spattered onto my favorite jeans. _

_Grrrr…..He just ruined my jeans! What made things worse is that he also ruined my pizza! I started running after him with a pizza cutter that I found on the counter of the kitchen. His eyes widened when he saw me coming after him. He took off up the stairs._

_Oh don't worry. I will get you. Mahahaha! You will have to come down the stairs sooner or later. _

_I hid beside the stairs so I can ambush him when he comes down the stairs. I waited patiently. I heard Emmett on the stairs about five minutes later. _

_Hahaha! I got you now!_

_When he came to the step nearest me- I took the pizza cutter and stabbed him in the leg. He screamed like a little girl and starting hopping on one leg. He looked at it and saw that the pizza cutter did not cut him. Dang it! Forgot about vampire skin! Oh well. Onto phase two!_

_I jumped onto him and was cutting his hair with the pizza cutter. Hahaha! Forgot about your hair, huh?_

_He screamed louder and tried to get me off. _

"_No! Not my hair! I swear anything but the hair!" He screamed some more. _

"_Well you should have thought of that before you ruined my favorite jeans and my pizza!" I said into his ear, still cutting his hair._

_He ran around the house with me still on his back, screaming. _

_All of a sudden the front door opened and Edward walked in with the rest of the Cullen family. Their eyes widened when they saw me on Emmett's back, cutting his hair with the pizza cutter. Emmett was still screaming. He finally got me off his back._

"_DON'T LET HER NEAR ME!" Emmett said, running out of the house. His hair was all short and jagged. I giggled at Emmett and his hair. _

_The Cullens turned to me, looking for an explanation. They finally got a good look at me. They saw the pizza sauce spattered on my jeans and my crazy face expression. _

"_Don't mess with my pizza or jeans and everything will be okay." With that, I walked off to clean the kitchen up and wash my jeans._

**Flashback Ended**

Well at least Jasper will be there to help if anything got crazy like last time.

"Bella?" Edward said, looking at me. "Is that going to be okay with you?"

"Sure." I said to him, giving him a kiss.

Later at the Cullen's house, Jasper was sitting on the couch with a civil war book in his hand. Emmett was nowhere to be seen.

Hmmmm….I wonder where he went off to.

I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. When I turned on the TV, I saw Emmett on the screen. What is going on here? It looked to be like a home video of some sort. Oh god! Please don't tell me it's a home video of him and Rosalie!

Jasper looked up, seeing what had me all worried. He saw me looking at the TV and leaned forward. He also wondered why Emmett was on there.

Emmett was wearing a outfit that you see when someone is trying to sell you something.

"_Hello Ladies and Gentlemen! I'm here to give you what everyone has been talking about since…well since now." Emmett said, moving his hands around._

"_I want to give you the ultimate dream experience with the…JEDWARD! Yes, you did hear it right! The Jedward! With the Jedward, you can do Edward and Jacob any day, anytime, however you like it!" _

Oh god! This is going to be bad.

"_With Jacob, we have…..DOGGY STYLE! Woof! Woof!" Emmett said laughing, holding his hands to stomach and back bended backwards._

"_You can also do them both at the SAME TIME! We have made the ultimate dream toy just for you! Fulfill your wildness fantasies with the JEDWARD!"_

"_The best thing about the Jedward is that it is free of STDs and HIVs! You may get pregnant with a little half-vampire or a little litter of puppies, but don't worry about that! These things are natural…sort of." Emmett continued saying._

"_Symptoms for a half-vampire pregnancy may include a craving for blood and may or may not cause death during labor!"_

"_If you have a werewolf pregnancy- symptoms may include a few hairballs, multiple werewolf babies and the need to eat dog food. The babies may come out a little hairy but that is all natural! It is normal! Sort of….Anyways onto…..ummm….ummm….other things!" Emmett said, trying to think of what to say next, his hand on his head, rubbing his forehead. _

"_If you but the Jedward now you can get a free lifetime full of condoms! We can even add in a couple of boxes of birth control pills, pads and tampons!" Emmett yelled out with his hand in the air. "So please call 1-800-JEDWARD to get your very own Jedward today! Call now!" _

The TV turned off by itself. I sat there shocked by what I saw. Jasper also sat there shocked. I got up to go to the kitchen. I grabbed my trusty pizza cutter and went up the stairs to look for Emmett. This time, his hair is going to be little stubs!

**Review! Tell me what you think! By the way-this is my first story that I wrote for fanfiction. Go to my profile page and vote at the polls on what I should do next. If you want me to continue this story- review and tell me. Thanks!**


	2. Emmett and the Clothes

**AN: I have decided to do more chapters for "****The Jedward!" **** Yay! Hahaha! Oh and just to let y'all know I do not own Twilight. Anyways, onto the story! **

Chapter2

_Bella's POV _

I had just pulled into the student parking lot in my old, red truck when the bell rang for class.

Great! Just great! I'm going to be late for class- all because of Emmett!

You see…what had happen was-Emmett hid all my clothes from me this morning. So I had to look all over my house to find my clothes.

Yeah, I know. You are probably wondering how the heck Emmett hid all my clothes with Edward there. Well, first off- Edward wasn't there last night. In fact, Edward was gone the entire weekend to hunt with Jasper. He didn't get back until this morning. I was_ supposed_ to meet up with Edward this morning at school. But since Emmett hid all my clothes- I am now running late.

Grrrr…one day, I am going to get back at Emmett. I don't care if it is today, tomorrow or even a year from now when I get back at him. I had thought he would know better than to mess with me since the pizza cutter incident but I guess not. I think he is trying to get back at me because of that. Well he is going to have to try a little harder than taking my clothes from me.

Hmmmm…I thought. What should I do?

I walked to my first period class and had just got through the door when the bell rang. I quickly got to my seat before the teacher got onto me. Edward was already there.

"Bella? Are you alright?" Edward asked me. He was probably wondering why I was late.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Emmett hid my clothes from me this morning so I was a little delayed getting to school. That's all." I explained to him.

He growled. He obviously didn't like what Emmett had done.

"Don't worry. I have a plan on getting back at him." I assured Edward.

Edward looked worried. Well more worried for Emmett I think. He remembered what happen with the pizza cutter. Emmett's hair didn't grow back for about a week. Who knew that vampire's hair grew back? Well to its original length at least. It's not like it can grow any longer.

I then turned my head to the front of the class and concentrated on ways that I can get back at Emmett for the rest of the period.

**AN: Uh-oh! What is going to happen? Feel free to give me any suggestions. The more reviews I get- the happier I am and the faster I update! **


	3. Author's Note Please read!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- PLEASE READ!**

Hey!

I just wanted to let you know- I have not quit writing. I will update soon. I need ideas though. Without people reviewing or giving me ideas for the story- I have no idea what y'all want at all. So please- review and give y'all thoughts. The more review/ ideas I have- the faster I update.

Thank you! And please don't forget to review!

-cullen freak8888


	4. Food Fight and Emmett's Jeep

**AN: I do not own Twilight! **

_RIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGG!_ Yes! It is finally lunch time. Now operation revenge on Emmett is a go. Mahahahahahaha! Oops! Did I just laugh out loud?

I looked around to check if anyone heard me laugh. I think the only one who did hear me was Alice who was in the same class as me.

"Hey Bella!" Alice said as she walked up to me. "So I was looking at the future and saw a couple of things that would be happening and was wondering…..can I help you? Please? Pretty please?"

I looked at Alice and saw that she had that puppy look on her face. Awwww….how can I refuse a face like that?

"I guess so Alice." I said. Alice squealed excitedly. She then took my arm and starting walking to the lunch room. She spoke about a couple of things we could add to my master plan.

We entered the lunch room and got in line for food. Although she doesn't eat because she is a vampire, she still has to keep up human appearances.

I ordered twice the amount of food as normal. The lunch lady looked up at me all weird. I had to explain to her that I was sharing my food with someone else today. She just shrugged and said okay. Hahaha! If only she knew how I would be sharing my food, she would probably take away my lunch.

Alice and I walked back to the Cullen table and sat down. Edward was sitting next to me. Emmett and Rosalie were sitting across the table and Jasper sat down next to Alice.

"Hey guys!" Alice said to them. The rest of the Cullens mumbled a greeting. Alice then turned to me and starting talking. Halfway through lunch, Alice gave me a tiny nod. It was the signal that told me to start the plan.

I looked up at Emmett and saw that he was laughing away at something. His hands were at his stomach and he was laughing with his mouth open. I grabbed a meatball that was on my tray and threw it in his mouth. Yay! Two points for Bella!

Emmett stopped laughing and was now trying to cough up the meatball. Emmett finally coughed it up and it landed on Rosalie's shirt. Uh-oh! He is in trouble now!

Rosalie screamed. She stood up and grabbed her milk. Rosalie then continues to open the milk and pour it onto Emmett.

Alice grabbed my hand and our trays that still had food and ran for cover.

"FOOD FIGHT!" I heard someone yell. They must have been watching Emmett and Rosalie.

Food was being thrown everywhere. Alice and I looked around to see if we can find the rest of the Cullens. But they were nowhere to be seen.

"Well well well! Look what we have here." I heard from behind me and Alice. I turned around and saw that it was Emmett.

Crap! He found us! I quickly took the apple off my plate and threw it at him. The apple landed right in his face and broke in half.

Yeessssss! Bella-4, Emmett-0.

While Emmett was distracted- Alice and I once again took the food with us and ran to a different cover spot. Edward must have spotted us because he was there with us not even a second later.

"This is your plan?" Edward asked me.

"If you think this is all I got. Well- you have another thing coming." I said while laughing. Of course he would think this is all I got planned. He didn't know that this is really a distraction.

"Bella! It's time for phase two!" Alice whispered quietly to me. "Emmett is getting food thrown at him at the moment. Let's go!"

Sure enough, when I looked over to where Emmett was- Jasper was now throwing food at him. Emmett was trying to throw the food back at Jasper.

"Okay. Bring the food!" I said to Alice. "Edward-keep Emmett distracted, okay?"

He quickly nodded

Alice and I ran out of the lunch room. We found a food cart that is used for when the lunch ladies throw out the leftover food from lunch and breakfast.

Alice grabbed the cart and rolled it out to the parking lot. I ran after her. When we got to the parking lot- we went over to Emmett's jeep and threw all the food in his car.

When that was done, Alice went over to her car that she brought to school today and unlocked the trunk. In the trunk was paint. Pink paint. Mahahahahaha! I just love Alice!

Alice and I opened the paint and splatter the paint all over Emmett's jeep. Once that was done, I got some black paint that Alice had in the trunk and wrote "EMMETT IS GAY!" onto the hood of the jeep.

We then proceed to get rid of the evidence and run back to the lunchroom because someone is sure to find out about the food fight.

Sure enough- when we got back, the principal was in the lunch room and was making all the students clean up. Emmett was even cleaning. Hahaha! Alice and I quickly went onto our classes without the principal seeing us.

At the end of the day, I went to my truck and waited until Emmett came out. As students came out to the parking lot and saw what had happened with Emmett's jeep- they laughed and talked about how mad he was going to be and taking pictures to post onto Facebook later.

Emmett came out and saw what had happened. He screamed and then glared at me. I just laughed at him. I knew he couldn't do anything to me right now. He opened his jeep's door and out the food came!

I laughed out loud when Emmett screamed once again. Well that is what he gets for messing with me!

**Hey guys! Sorry for taking too long to update! Thank you to all who have review (to those who actually did) and those who added me to their favorite author or story list anddddddd the alerts! Its kinda sad though. I have many people who read my story but yet don't review. Sooooooo….if I can get 10 or more reviews I will update. ** **What should happen next? Review and tell me! Thanks!**


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